Thanks, guys. This is a lot of help. On my drive home from work I decided that tomorrow I'll swap the 1 & 3 cables and then see what gives. Regardless, this car is most likely due for new plugs/cables, since it's at 119k, and these have been in for at least 30k. Also, I purchased new cables from a dealer, so they're ready.
So, to recap:
If the misfire follows the cable, then it's obviously the cable at fault.
If I still get #3 misfire, the coil may be the problem, but couldn't it also be the plug?
As for the physics, I have read "The Elegant Universe" and "The Fabric of the Cosmos" by Brian Greene... :cool: Therefore I can safely state that regardless of what I may think is the cause of my automotive troubles, it's all just vibrating strings. And possibly there's a parallel universe in which my evil twin is tearing up Pike's Peak in a wickedly modified Outback. With a goatee, of course.