Bill90Loyale Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Greetings All- The story I am about to relate is true. So I leave the office yesterday at the end of the workday. Car is on the 4th floor of the city parking deck. Arrive at car. Windows steamed/frosted up. Odd, but not that odd. Get in car. Notice dirty snow on front seat, broken custom-mounted Spillmaster Euro Junior coffee mug holder (now I'm really bummed), and my screwdriver and sunglasses on the floor. Really odd. Must have been ripped off, says I. Better check my tool box, custom bungee-corded into the back section of my 1990 Loyale wagon with 186,865 miles, to see if the perp made off with my tools. Open rear gate. A male human head pops out from underneath the blanket that I keep in the car. Using my best Barney Fife imitation, I say "What in the heck are you doing buddy?" He says, "Just trying to stay warm." I say, well that's fine, but how about getting out of my car. He swings his legs out, which I now notice have chains around his ankles. He's dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt (it's about 0 degrees F.). At this point, I ask him what he's hiding under his sweatshirt. He removes his hands, which are connected to one another with handcuffs. He asks if he can have my blanket. I say no, but I'll be happy to give you a lift to the police station. He politely declines, then asks if I could take him to a "friend's house." I say no, I don't think we'll be doing that. I then tried my "prison ministry" thing on him (e.g. you really should do the right thing and turn yourself in). He seemed somewhat moved by this, but elected to shuffle off as hurriedly as a chained man can shuffle. I then returned to the office and notified the authorities. My daughter and I later went to the Wal*Mart and found a perfect replica of my Spillmaster Euro Junior ($3.79 and made in America), and the repair has been completed. For the rest of the story, Google the Rutland Herald newspaper (Vermont). See the lead news article headlined something like "Man Escapes Through Courthouse Window". When you get to the part that mentions that police think that the fugitive sought refuge in a parked car, that's me. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebz Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Thats nuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spanky_pete Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Holy crap that's hilarious. Glad he didn't get violent when he was discovered. I guess he must have been a Subaru fan. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoyaleFan Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 He picked a nice car to pass out in. I sleep in mine all the time when I leave the bar, rather than drive drunk. And yes, the windows really do get fogged up. Neat story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobBrumby Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Hehe i dont know about over in america but u cant get done here for dui over here for sleeping in your car with your keys drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibs Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Thats funny. They caught him right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diluded000 Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 I'm quite fond of telling what I call 'crime stories', but that is better than any I have. The closest tales I have are when my apartment neighbor found a junkie sleeping on my hood, and I came out to find a big grease spot on my windshield. And the time some derelict looking guy decided to take a nap under the tree in our front yard. I tossed a firecracker out the window in his general direction and he jumped up and walked away real fast. - James B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet82 Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 That's the funnyiest story I've heard in years I feel bad for the guy in a way but on the other hand he was handcuffed for a reason. :-p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtsmiths Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 If this keeps up it'll have to get moved to "Off-Topic". When I lived in Kailua-Kona I had a pad right on the beach for a while. My sign shop was right next door and one day I ducked into the apt to grab something and heard the shower running. I grabbed my black powder pistol, which wasn't loaded and snatched the bathroom door open. There was this wel-known local 'lolo' (crazy person) standin with my bathrobe half on. I stuck the barrel against his forehead, pulled the hammer back (click), and told him to sit on the toilet and not even think about moving, and he sat right down. I walked back to my shop and called the cops, and after about fifteen minutes two officers got there. When I explained the situation one stood by the door and the other entered the bathroom and started laughing. The outside cop says "Well, whatya got in there?" and he replies "I got crazy Kimo sitting naked on a toilet seat with one arm in a bathrobe". They asked if they could use the bathrobe and I said not unless they were taking it as evidence, so they cuffed him and walked him naked through the complex to the car out on the street. Next night, I ran into him in a bar, so I bought a beer and gave it to him and said "Hey, Kimo, no hard feelings brah, but the next time I catching you in my apartment I'm gonna blow your brains out and THEN call the cops, OK?" Never saw him again, but a few days later one of the cops came by and asked if I knew why Kimo had finally moved back to his family home on Maui (or was it Kauai?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 OMG, the initial story was hilarious, but that guy in the shower takes the cake! And you bought him a fricken beer! Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShawnW Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Wow, great stories! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilesFox Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 hey if i found a guy in the back of my car i would have taken him where he wanted to go. or at least gave him a head start. i would want someone to do for me the same! but thats me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
americanyouth Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Hehe i dont know about over in america but u cant get done here for dui over here for sleeping in your car with your keys drunk. Works that way here too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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